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Real Local BridesTell Us-....

We posed the question in a wedding forum on a popular website, to local Seattle area brides “Are you hiring a wedding coordinator?”....

Here are the actual overwhelming responses we got back in less than 24 hours.

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·        Kaarinmarie-- I highly suggest it!!!

It takes all of the pressure off of you and your family to have a go-to personfo the day of the event! the expense is totally worth it for the lack of stress!

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·        KickKiki-- We planned our own = fun, but aheadache! Planners can be a headache sometimes too, but they have good reasonfor constantly bugging you for info. They have to know what's going on. My husband and I recommend to anyone having a wedding that while DIY is a littlemore cost-efficent, it's much more stress-free to have a professional take care of it all. Another perk to the pro would have been our reception. Our venue required a licensed planner in order to use real candles. Would have loved real candles, but we were lucky to even get a venue (picked one heck of a weekend I guess!). We ended up using LED lights in the bottom of the vases which waspretty cool actually. They gave the vases a nice glow and they were cheap! (like $10 for a 12 pack of them at Wal-Mart, and water safe too)

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·        WaitingForIt-- Yes, for the day-of.

I found him on CL events section. For me I felt it was necessary because my mom gets super bossy when she's stressed and I knew she was going to royally piss off the vendors if she was their contact. I don't want to have to deal with vendors or timelines either and my MoH knows nothing about weddings. Bringingin a little help is my way of making sure the day goes smoothly.

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·        niksmama-- Ours is included with the site

The site we chose also has a day of coordinator included in the"package". And after attending a wedding this weekend, even my fianceis excited about it and is thinking it is a great idea!

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·        cera-- I did and she has been a wonderfulhelp.

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·        HeyHeyPaulak-- Planner here...I willguarantee satisfaction

As a wedding planner, I have usually been able to save $$$ for the couples thatI work with from the start. I don't upcharge for things....if I get itwholesale, so do you (i.e. invitations, favors, ribbon, etc.) As for Day-ofCoordination...I have never had a couple who were not totally happy with having a planner...I'm the first one there and the last to leave; there IS a lot to do! Every vendor and person involved knows to see me first if there is an issue or problem...saves a lot of stress for the couple and the busy families. I havealways offered free service if they are not satisfied...it has never happened. Ask friends for referrals and check references. Pay attention to their availability and willingness to tailor their service to your needs. Web-sites can be faked and misleading, as you know. There are many wonderful planners out there who should be happy to work within your budget and your needs. I am happy to travel for day-of coordination...usually a chance to see people I know and places I like...and have done many weddings for expenses only. Best of luck to you as you plan for your special day!

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·        MollyDookerSeattle-- Yes, for the day of, I'm doing everything else, but I have a lot of experience with the DIY andrunning large events. However, I know better than to even dream that I couldmanage to run everything the day of! If you're interested, I'll pass you thename of mine. She's $500 for the day of, which includes rehearsal as well. My wedding is this weekend, so ask me after then and I'll let you know how she did! So far so good though, she's young and "hip" and hasn't tried to implement any of her ideas onto my event without me asking first, which is notthe case for many planners. She'll also do the full-meal deal if that's what you want too.

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·        Mommy23As-- Mine is all DIY

And sometimes I think it would be much better to have a planner/coordinator

Money?s a tough enough subject to bring up, but with today?s bad economy, you may find yourself especially nervous about asking your parents and in-laws for help in paying for the wedding. We brought this predicament to financial pro Pam Krueger, author of The Moneytrack Method (John Wiley & Sons, 2008). Here, some sound advice.

Agree to Agree

Before saying anything to Mom and Dad, sit down with your fiancé and discuss your expectations. ?Make sure you get to a point where you both agree on your vision and how much it will cost,? says Krueger. ?This conversation will be the springboard for how you deal with money as a married couple.? Remember to really listen to your guy and to make compromises. Be honest with each other about both families? financial situations; you may find that you have to scale back on your original idea.

Say It Right

Whether you speak to Mom and Dad by phone or in person, you need to be very polite, Krueger says. ?Ask, ?Do you feel comfortable making a contribution to the wedding?? Then let them suggest what?s best for them.? For example, they might propose a dollar amount or offer to pay for an aspect of the wedding, like the liquor.

Be Specific

Once money is offered and accepted, other issues arise. Will your parents assume that they?ll have more control than you?d like? You?ll have to be clear that the buck stops with you and your fiancé. At the same time, be aware that their contribution does mean that they?re involved. Let?s say that your mother wants to pay for food, but she insists that salmon be on the menu. Before agreeing, consider whether her agenda fits yours.

Also, make sure they know that you?re asking for a gift, not a loan. ?Don?t borrow money,? says Krueger. ?You don?t want to start your marriage in debt. There are things?a car, a home?you?ll want to buy together as a couple.?

Avoid Hurt Feelings

Remember that there are two sides of the family now: yours and his. If your own mom and dad offer to pay for half the wedding, you should run it by your future in-laws before you agree. Bruised feelings may result whenever people are put in a position to pay more or less than other people. The same goes for divorced parents?discuss the money question with both separately in order to see what each is comfortable with.

Budget Wisely

Once you?ve accepted family contributions, create your wedding budget. ?Your job as a couple is to stay on track,? says Krueger. ?It wouldn?t be right to take money from your parents and then go over budget.? If you?re planning to save up money yourselves during your engagement, decide how much you can set aside each month and keep a running total as you go; for each couple this will be different. For extra motivation, keep your tally displayed on your fridge.

Krueger suggests using a debit card for wedding-related purchases, so that these costs are immediately deducted from your account, making it easier for you to stay on top of what you have left. If you spend a little extra on any one item, make sure to spend that much less somewhere else.

Attention, brides-to-be: Set aside your "to do" list for a minute and take a look at this "what not to do" list we've created. It'll help you be a relaxed, radiant, has-it-all-together woman all the way up to your wedding day.

Sin #1: Crash dieting.

When my sister was planning her wedding, she drastically curbed her eating and spent a lot of time at the gym. While she did successfully slim down for her big day, and looked fabulous in her gown, she also appeared?and felt?tired and drawn. That's no wonder, says New York City-based nutritionist Joy Bauer, author of The 90/10 Weight Loss Solution (Renaissance Books). "Extreme dieting may help you drop pounds, but it's not healthy," she says. "It will leave your skin sallow, your hair dull and your energy low." If you diet, make sure you eat no less than 1,200 calories a day and lose no more than two pounds per week, advises Bauer. Not sure how to do it right? Consider hiring a nutritionist for a few sessions?your health insurance company can recommend pros.

Sin #2: Talking endlessly about the wedding.

A pal asks you the simple question "So, how are the wedding plans going?" and before she knows it, she's listening to a 20-minute monologue on why one caterer's crab puffs vastly outshine another caterer's crab cakes. Endlessly fascinating...to you. Why do so many brides get wedding-obsessed? Believe it or not, this is often a way for a woman to process the confusing emotions that surround the transition from single to married, says Allison Moir-Smith, M.A., founder of the Brookline, Massachusetts-based Emotionally Engaged, which offers individual counseling and workshops for brides and couples. While exciting, the engagement period can be a scary time, when a bride may ask herself, "Will I lose my independence once I'm married? What does being a wife really mean?" Just know that it's okay not to have all the answers right now. Trust that things will work out fine?after all, you're marrying a great guy, right? And the next time someone asks about your wedding plans, keep your answer to a sentence or two.

Sin #3: Being so concerned with throwing the perfect wedding that you forget marriage is about what comes after the big day.

One of my friends recently admitted to me that while her wedding was great, her spending almost got out of control. "When I read about, or saw, something great in a magazine, I thought we should have it," she says. "Everything had to be more, bigger, better." What made her stop? "At one point, I actually considered getting sugar cubes dyed to match the décor," she says. "Suddenly, I realized I was planning this whole thing so that I'd be with my husband for the rest of my life, not so I could say my sugar cubes matched my flowers." When you find yourself ignoring your budget, remember the same thing.

Sin #4: Neglecting your fiancé.

"I can't meet you for lunch, sweetie, I have an appointment with my aesthetician (or florist, or seamstress?)." Sound like someone you know? "Neglectful behavior during one's engagement sets a bad precedent for marriage," warns Moir-Smith. The two of you will become disconnected if outside pressures?especially trivial ones?take precedence over caring for each other. So, take time off from big-day tasks to spend regular old girlfriend-boyfriend time together.

Sin #5: Becoming a "diva."

Are you in danger of going overboard on the attention-grabbing front, demanding more, more, more from friends and bridesmaids?more bridal events and outings, more gifts, more reasons to spend money? Ask yourself, "Why do you think you need all this attention?" advises Moir-Smith. Sometimes, she reports, a bride-to-be is worried that her single girlfriends are pulling away, getting ready to relegate her to "married" status in their minds. The demanding bride might be trying, in a backhanded way, to pull her friends closer. But this behavior will only backfire, causing resentment and rifts. So, in addition to one or two just-for-you events, plan get-togethers that are all about fun and friendship and have nothing to do with your wedding.

Sin #6: Blowing your wedding budget.

A recent bride I know?let's call her "Lisa"?is usually an extremely practical person, but admits she got bitten by the wedding-planning bug when she got engaged. "I started out with a budget that took into account what my fiancé and I could pay, as well as gifts we were getting from our parents to help," she says. "It was plenty of money for a very nice wedding." So what happened? Whenever an item ended up costing a bit more than her budget allowed?like $200 extra for her gown or a few hundred more for better champagne?she went for it. But all those little expenses added up quickly?to an extra few thousand dollars that she ended up having to put on a credit card. "We were able to pay it off a month or two after the wedding, but it put a damper on the honeymoon," says Lisa. "Out of guilt, I didn't feel entitled to splurge at all, which was a shame." So make a budget, and stick to it?you don't want to start your marriage under a cloud of debt.

Sin #7: Not acknowledging what your parents may be going through.

"I fought with my mother for months over whether the entrée at our rehearsal dinner should be hot or cold," says Moir-Smith. "I finally realized that we were not fighting over food, but over the thought of ?losing' each other when I got married. I was not a baby?but I was her baby, and the last of her children to get married. It was tough for both of us." The fact is, your wedding marks a big transition for your parents as well as for you, no matter how old you are. A child's marriage signals a change in parental identity?from parents to potential grandparents. As such, it also may remind parents of their own mortality. These are heavy thoughts, so it's no wonder many parents bury their emotions under silly fights, or even by seeming uninterested in the wedding. If this happens, don't turn away. Even if you can't get the 'rents to open up about how they're really feeling, at least do your best to understand it. Put yourself in their shoes. You might be there someday yourself.

What does a wedding day Planner do, anyway?

So often we’re asked, “so what do you guys do, anyway?” I figured it would be fun to share a list of unusual tasks that a wedding day brings.

 Here’s a list of things we usually do in  a span of about nine hours:

Ceremony Preparation:

Pinned corsages on the mothers, godmothers, special aunts, and readers

Pinned boutonnieres on the fathers, groomsmen, and groom

Distributed bouquets to the bridesmaids, flower girl, and bride

Tied reserved signs to chairs for the ceremony

Determined the color of the table linen for the ceremony (a last-minute addition)

Found an out-of-the-way place for the string quartet to leave their instrument cases

Discussed cues and the ceremony with the quartet

Gave the reader her copy of the reading

Ceremony:

Cued the ceremony musicians

Lined up the parents and bridal party before the ceremony

Passed the marriage license to the officiant so he could fill in the form

Held the wedding rings before the ceremony began

Helped the flower girl down the steps to the ceremony so she didn’t trip over her long dress

‘Floofed’ the bride’s dress and fixed her veil before she headed down the aisle

Reception Preparation:

Asked the caterer to get linens off the truck so the cake baker and DJ could begin setting up

Made sure all the family members were in place for the formal photographs

Worked with the florist when there was one table arrangement missing

Asked the venue contact about where the DJ’s power supply was located

Held up the bride’s train while the bridesmaids bustled underneath (often we’ll do the bustle on our own)

Reception:

Politely invited guests to their seats so we could begin

Lined up the bridal party before the introductions were made

Worked with the DJ and caterer to ensure the timeline was upheld

Brought the bride and groom drinks from the bar to their sweetheart table

Updated the bride and groom before each major event of the reception

Found the site manager when the one and only light bulb in the restroom was burned out

Ensured the photographers and DJ ate their vendor meals when they wouldn’t miss a moment of the action

Quicky taught the bride and groom how to cut their wedding cake

Had a chair ready for the bride to sit on during the garter toss

Boxed up two slices of cake for the flower girl and her father who had to leave early

Boxed up two slices of cake for the bride and groom to eat in the limousine

Passed out sparklers to the bridal party for the send-off

Lit the sparklers once everyone was in place

Had the driver move the limousine to the correct position in front of the house to allow guests to make a pathway from the front door for the send-off

Made sure the caterer swept/mopped the floor at the end of the night (a venue requirement)

Carried wedding gifts & leftover liquor to the family’s cars

Generally Making Things Smooth:

Directed guests to the right location for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception

Offset the timeline so the photographer could get all the portraits done

Showed the photographer the venue and several location options for formal photographs

Did a final sweep of the building to ensure nobody left personal belongings

Served as an incognito test lighting subject for the photographer

Distributed vendor tips on behalf of the bride and groom

If you’re not planning on hiring a wedding day Planner, think of who will do all these tasks when they arise on the wedding day. Also consider if that person will stick around through the end of the reception or if they’ll take advantage of the open bar and be worthless by midnight. Most of these things don’t fall under the caterer’s or venue’s responsibilities so don’t asssume they’ll be handled by the professionals you’ve hired.

Start your marriage off on the right foot and have some fun getting involved in wedding planning. Believe it or not, there are plenty of tasks that are perfectly cut out for you!

Let your mind lock onto the first image that pops into your head. If you're like most guys, you're picturing your fiancée happily picking out floral arrangements and place settings with her best friend or her mother at her side. You may not even be in the picture at all. That's okay- that's often how it is. Your bride-to-be has probably been dreaming of her wedding since she was a little girl. She may have a much clearer picture in her head of what she wants the wedding to be like than you do. This production, however, is no one-woman show. You've got to do more than just "pitch in" because you can help alleviate her stress and earn some points in the process by stepping up. The wedding is something your bride will be talking about for a long time to come.

Planning a wedding is a massive undertaking. It requires patience, dedication, and plenty of hard work. If you're not the most aesthetically-minded guy, it's okay to leave things like the flowers, wedding favors, and decorations to her. There's no shortage of other things you can do with her. Start off by checking out the groom's duties video, by GroomGroove.com, to the right.

The Budget

Major decisions like the budget and size of the wedding, or key elements, such as figuring out a date and location are things that should not be decided by just one person. Sit down with your fiancée and talk these things through to see what you both have in mind. Trust us, if you have these conversations right up front, it will save you both a lot of headaches down the road.

Religious Matters

Another big issue is whether or not you're planning to have a religious service. Again, be sure to take the time to work this out with your fiancée from the start. Don't make the mistake of assuming she'll know what you want or vice versa. It is not uncommon for people who haven't even been inside a house or worship in years to insist on getting married in one. If you're a mixed-faith couple and you both want a religious wedding, you may have to get creative. It gets particularly tricky when trying to find a clergyman to officiate the ceremony. Some clergymen won't perform mixed-faith weddings, others have no problem with it. Choosing - and, if possible, meeting - the officiant together is critical to ensuring that you will have a wedding that you are both comfortable with. Religion can be a sensitive issue for a lot of people, so be sure to talk openly and honestly with your fiancée from day one.

With us so far? Good. There are also a number of jobs that are specific to you. Just as it's important to work together on the above items, it's equally important to show initiative and handle your groom-ly responsibilities in advance. Here's a quick list of responsibilities that will almost certainly fall on your shoulders:

Choose your wedding attendants (best man and groomsmen)

Select wedding attire for you and for the men in the wedding party (she may want to help)

Get groomsmen measured up for tuxedos early, and no matter where they may be

Arrange transportation to the ceremony for the bride, the father of the bride, the bridal party, the best man, the groomsman, and yourself

Arrange transportation for the entire wedding party from the ceremony to the reception (Why two types of transportation? You'll be arriving separately, but leaving as a couple. While you can take a taxi or hitch a ride to your wedding, try to find something nice for afterwards)

Arrange for accommodations for out-of-town guests

Purchase gift for your bride-to-be

Purchase groomsmen gifts for your groomsmen

Obtain a marriage license

Plan the rehearsal dinner

Prepare a toast for the rehearsal dinner

Prepare a speech for the reception

Some of these tasks, such as obtaining a marriage license or planning the rehearsal dinner, can be done with your fiancée, but you should seriously consider (and offer) to handle them yourself. They are fairly painless ways to arrange major parts of the wedding experience and avoid putting all the pressure on your fiancée. That's one way Bridezillas are born!

Things for the groom and bride to do, together

There's a whole host of things that you and your fiancée can do together. You should always feel free to do more - it's your wedding, too, after all, and seeing how involved you are in this event is sure to make your fiancée glad she picked you - but if nothing else, work with her to do the following:

Set wedding budget and size (put your spreadsheet powers to work!)

Finalize a date, time and location and book it (sounds simple, but think again)

Select the officiant, if you are not having a religious wedding

Book reception site

Settle on a wedding theme and style for your reception

Book entertainment

Draft a guest list (this will take lots of time)

Select and order invitations

Mail out invitations

Plan the reception menu

Hire a photographer and/or videographer

Create a gift registry

Plan the honeymoon

Being a groom can be nerve-wracking. There's a lot expected of you, and a multitude of tasks to check off the list. However, if you only had one job throughout this entire process, it would be this: no matter how crazy things get, never forget that you love each other and that the hectic preparation period is just one stop on the road to your life together. Get involved, have your say on the floral arrangements, and get your marriage started on the right foot!

Choose friends who understand you

Think about the roles you?d like your bridesmaids to play ? from supportive listener to party planner ? advises Kate Chynoweth, author of ?The Bridesmaid Guide: Etiquette, Parties and Being Fabulous.? Consider friends with whom you?re in touch regularly, who live close by and whom you?ve known to e dependable team players, since a lot of planning is consensus-based. And don?t be afraid to ask your best guy friend.

More isn?t merrier

Chynoweth recommends having six or fewer bridesmaids unless you?re inviting 300-plus guests. Pare down your list of potential ?maids before you start extending invitations, so you don?t lose track and find yourself with a larger group than you?d like. While it?s appropriate to include your future sisters-in-law, inviting other in-laws and extended-family members is up to you. Don?t feel obligated to "repay" friends who asked you to be in their weddings if your relationships have since fizzled.

Timing is everything

Enjoy two to four weeks without asking anyone to be a bridesmaid, NYC-based wedding planner and designer Michelle Rago advises: ?It?s lovely to be engaged and focused on this huge life change.? Try to choose your ?maids within the first three to five months ? ideally, they should have six months? notice ? and ask everyone at about the same time so no one feels last.

Ask each bridesmaid individually, not in a group, so they have the opportunity to say no if they so choose. ?Remember, you?re asking her, not telling her,? Rago says. Chynoweth suggests sending a note with a special photo or token of your friendship. Give a T-shirt or tank top that says ?Bridesmaid? or, if you already know your wedding colors, send an accessory (like a necklace or headband) that matches. Take prospective bridesmaids who live nearby to meaningful locations like a favorite lunch spot, and invite long-distance pals over the phone, not e-mail.

Be up front with close friends you don?t invite to be bridesmaids

?Always tell them in person so they don?t hear it secondhand,? advises Chynoweth. Say, ?As a couple, we?ve decided on a more intimate bridal party,? or cite family obligations. If someone asks for a reason, explain that as much as you would?ve loved for her to participate, you just couldn?t expand the number.

Confront any problems that arise

If there?s any trouble in the bridal party, try to smooth things over as soon as possible by having an open, honest discussion. Don?t address anything contentious via e-mail or send a messenger to do your dirty work.

Say thank you

Expressing your gratitude for your bridesmaids? time, money and support will make them happy to go on giving it. Acknowledge their efforts, and don?t insist on exotic bachelorette trips or overly extravagant bridesmaids? ensembles. Treat them to a festive brunch and, finally, give each a thoughtful gift when the wedding comes around.

The Perfect Wedding

How perfectionism can ruin your perfect day.

By  Lybi Ma

You're getting ready for your day and you want everything to be picture perfect?the gown, the flowers, the cake, the venue, your nail polish, and even the weather. And it better not rain, or the heavens will pay. That's because you have high standards and you've been planning for months and months, so of course you expect absolute flawlessness in every possible way.

Pretty soon, as your day nears, you find that you are not having a good time. Everything is wrong. The gown has a beige hue, the cake is too sweet, and the weatherman says it's going to rain. What will this do to your image and who you are? You bark at your husband to be, your mother, your sister, and even the darn dog. It's not surprising to find a bride fussing over minutia. And it's not surprising that she is driven to crazy making.

The perfectionist seems to have it all together, appearing competent and confident. However, she does not feel perfect, nor does she feel in control of her wedding or her life for that matter. This precision takes away from enjoying and engaging in the people around her. After all, that is the real point.

Taming the Beast

Granted, there are people who can tame their perfectionism. They sweat for their best work whether they're bankers or athletes and they tend to excel. But for those who cannot manage their urge for precision, they push and push only to find that they are inadequate. Nothing is ever good enough. Research from Smith College shows that perfectionism can be detrimental to one's health; these people are at risk for obsessive-compulsive disorders, heart disease, anxiety, low self-esteem, eating disorders, high blood pressure, among other illnesses.

Origins of Miss Perfect

Some people are more prone to perfection than others. But parents can shape this trait just by withholding praise and dropping criticism. The need to please is thus internalized. Many perfectionists suffered chaotic childhoods, where they had little control over their lives. That's why a perfect child: keeps her room tidy and neat, works hard at her schooling, and bosses her siblings around. This trait then carries over into adulthood.

Make No Mistakes

What will everyone think if the forks and knives are not sitting straight on the table settings? Those who cannot tolerate flaws get upset easily. In truth, these chronic worriers see a mistake as downright failure. For this person, self-worth is often wrapped up in a perfect performance. Worse still are those who demand no mistakes from the people around them.

Best Is Best

Adhering to high standards sounds like a good thing. But often that standard is shifted higher and higher. That's what happens when a perfectionist strives for a ten at every turn?the ten turns into ever increasing numbers. According to research from Oklahoma State and the University of South Alabama, for certain people perfectionism is thought to contribute to eating disorders like anorexia nervosa (all in pursuit of that perfect body).

Your Approval My Approval

Most girls want to be a princess for a day. This feeds into our love of celebrities; indeed, taking the spotlight is so fulfilling. But perfectionism propels this notion a step further: the bride becomes more and more self-focused, and in turn becomes more and more hypercritical. You are valued only if you are perfect. That superhuman image is what she seeks.

For the perfect bride in search of her perfect day, everything falls short and never up to snuff. Demanding perfection is demanding the impossible. Perfectionists cope well in times of low stress, but these people more likely to become depressed, angry, and anxious in stressful situations?and that's when things can go way wrong.

One woman recalls her brother's wedding day: "That day, I decided to wear a pendant instead of pearls as the other bridesmaids did, my sister-in-law snapped and hissed at me. In fact, she was mad at everyone and everything the entire day."

Psychology Today © Copyright 1991 - 2009

Top Ten Ways to Create Fights with Your Parents

This is Ridden with sarcasim...please do the opposite of what this reads!

#10 - Pay for the entire wedding yourself and any time your parent expresses even a slight opinion or tries to give advice, slam down the "money trump card" by telling them they are not allowed to talk about the wedding because they aren't contributing

#9 - If your parents are helping contribute financially, make sure any opinion they have is met with, "that's nice mom and dad, but this is MY DAY and we're doing this MY WAY." Parents love to open their wallet and have no say in how the money is spent

#8 - If your parents try to claim more experience with weddings because they're 30 or so years older than you and have been to more weddings than you, insist they are completely out of it and have no idea how weddings are done today even if you've only been to 3 weddings in the last 5 years and they've been to 20

#7 - Be sure not to clarify the role of your parents.

Let every discussion turn into a fight because nobody really knows if they have a role, what the role is, and what is really going on with the wedding plans

#6 - If your parents are bitterly divorced, be sure to tell them they are complete jerks to your other parent and you insist they act like a "good boy" or "good girl" for your wedding. Parents love to be told they're jerks by their kids, especially when it comes out around talk of the ex-spouse

#5 - If your parents are control-freaks and always have been, the best way to promote fighting is to waffle in your wedding decisions while never clarifying what needs to get done and who is doing it. This will ensure your parents feel justified in needing to take control and ensure you experience maximum rage at their audacious wedding planning actions like hiring a florist or photographer without your knowledge

#4 - If your parent has always been difficult , spend all your energy "wishing" they could have a personality transplant for just the one important event. Daydreaming about someone they've never been will ensure you are upset enough to lay into them around a particular wedding related discussion by saying something like, "Why can't you be there for me on the most important day of my life?"

#3 - If your parents insist on inviting relatives you barely know, remind them a wedding is about YOU and your parents will have plenty of time to visit the relatives at family funerals. Lecturing your parents on the importance of your friends and coworkers over relatives will lend to some lively fights and drama

#2 - Whatever you do, never admit there is anything sad for your parents about "losing their little girl or boy". Insist they be nothing but happy for you and demand their maximum enthusiasm for your spouse and new life without them

#1 - Make sure this wedding is ALL ABOUT YOU, even if it means creating family cut-offs or threatening your parents that they will never get to see their future grandchildren. The more you hold your ground around wedding plans the more stress and tension you'll create as you start your new marriage and new relationship as a married person with your parents. Harmony and good relationships are worth losing to maximize the "perfectness" of those 6 hours of your wedding day